Lindsay's Funeral

As most of you that we went to school with have heard, Lindsay Breault Lewis passed away last Friday. In school, Lindsay and I weren't extremely close, but, we had grown closer over the last few years through Facebook and our blogs. Honestly, this hit me so hard. I know people pass away every day. I know there are horrible stories on the news all the time about terrible tragedies where families are left without an important member of their family unit. But, this has consumed my brain.

Ever since her husband, Gabe, started posting a few weeks ago about Lindsay's trip to the hospital and her stay in the ICU, we've been praying like crazy. She unfortunately came down with double pneumonia and mono, while in the ICU...she contracted ARDS. After almost two weeks, her lungs collapsed and her body couldn't find any longer. She passed away last Friday, September 23rd.

That night when I found out, I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't wrap my brain around how something like that could happen to someone so healthy. Someone with a loving husband, great marriage and two beautiful baby boys. Gabe wrote the most beautiful tribute to his wife on facebook and I was astounded by his strength and faith. Everything that people were writing to him to encourage and him and lift him up made me cry. I was thankful that Gabe and their boys would be surrounded by so many family and friends to help them get through this. But, I still couldn't help but feel so awful for them and Lindsay's sister and parents and all of her very close friends. That night I was putting Noah to bed and started crying again thinking about how Brody and Cash (Lindsay's boys) will never have their Mommy put them to bed again.

I think because of the way she passed away so unexpectedly and the fact that we had so much in common (we were the same age, have two beautiful boys almost the exact same ages, etc) just made this unbearable. I knew I wanted to make every effort to be at her funeral. It was held on Tuesday morning in Richardson. Thankfully, Cindy, another good friend from high school went with me. I don't think I could have handled it as easily on my own.

Honestly, the service was the most beautiful one I've ever attended, but, also the absolute hardest. I was happy to see soooo many people in attendance. It was evident that Lindsay was loved by so many people. A lot of people we went to high school with came and showed their support for Lindsay and Gabe. There were slideshows of pictures of her life, her wedding, her marriage and lots of happy memories with her two sweet boys and their Daddy. I wanted to write this post for those that were unable to attend, but, also for myself. There were a few things that really stuck out to me at her funeral that I want to make sure I have written down in case I need to refer back to them later.

The church was filled with gorgeous flower arrangements and they had a young guy, with an amazing voice, on the guitar sing 3 acoustic songs that were absolutely perfect for the day. One was Blessed be your name. Another was Forever Reign (which I haven't gotten out of my head since Tuesday) and another he sang was I Will Rise. Halfway through the song, Lindsay's parents stood up and holding Gabe's hand, they rose. The entire church followed. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. I'm even tearing up now as I relive all of this in my head. The end of the funeral, as her family filed out of the church and Lindsay's casket was brought out to be laid to rest Blessings was played. That song already makes me cry, but, it seemed so perfect as everyone left the church.

But, it was a few things that the minister said in his message that really stuck out to me. One was he was talking about people wondering why bad things happen to good people. He mentioned that life is like a song on the piano. Once he asked someone to play a song on the piano using only the beautiful white keys. It sounded awful. It was too sharp, the pitch wasn't right. But, when all the black keys were added back in, it was beautiful. It's just like life. When you mix in all of the dark/black days, sometimes it's unfair, but, it makes us appreciate everything else. Ultimately, it's part of our story that God has already written for us. I really liked that analogy.

Another thing, also related to bad things happening and we don't understand it. He mentioned that so many people on facebook would say while Lindsay was in the ICU, "I just know that God will come through with a miracle and heal her". But, she passed away. So people wonder "Why didn't God listen to me...why couldn't He heal her?!" He said, you may not see it right away...but, he listened. Right now Lindsay is the most healed she has ever been in her life. She's sitting with God, looking back over her life and is so thankful for everything she got to experience. He said some people may wonder how a life could be cut so short. Others may say she's so lucky for the long life she had because they didn't get to live until 28. It really put things in perspective and helped me understand a little better. But, the bottom line is -- God always, always answers our prayers. It may not be answered in the exact way we were envisioning or can fully understand at that time, but, it's all a part of His Divine plan and because He loves us more than anyone and anything in this world...He knows best and we just have to trust in Him.

The last thing that gave me chills, and still sticks out the most to me is about Gabe. First of all, his strength amazes me. I remember on Friday about an hour after he posted a beautiful tribute to his wife, he wrote again saying that he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him. He felt like through all of this, it would bring him closer than ever to God. On Friday I remember that resonating through my brain and I couldn't get over how strong his faith was. It wasn't until Tuesday morning that it came full circle for me to fully understand. The minister told us that we all really need to be careful what we pray for, what we ask of God. About six months ago, Gabe wasn't feeling as religious and really wanted to be closer to God. He prayed one night that he wanted more than anything to have a better relationship with Him. He told God that to become closer to Him, if he needed to be put through hardship to get a better relationship with Him...then so be it, put him through hardship. Wow. Can you imagine?!?! It still gives me chills just thinking about that.

All of this had really made me realize how fragile and precious life is. Ever since all of this happened I've hugged my kids extra tight and kissed them more and more every day. It really makes you put things into perspective and realize that all of those little things that you worry about and agonize over...really aren't that important. Nothing is guaranteed in life and we should all be so thankful each morning when we wake up.

Lindsay, you were such a beautiful, loving person, daughter, friend, wife and mother. I will continue to pray for your beautiful family and all that know you as they get through this difficult time. I'll make sure to never forget you as your family will still need support through the months and years to come. Rest in peace, beautiful girl.